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so much has happened
lets see im married
my family moved away to georgia
im living on my own ....looking for a house with my husband
i have a baby on the way due possibly in september =)
and right now more than ever i need this sanctuary of writing......
im watching MADE right now the episode where the girl wants to be a rockstar.......
that was me some time ago, but now more than ever all i want is to be a beautiful wife and a good mom for the baby
i love my baby im rubbing my tummy hoping to catch a heart beat.....and my husband is working his way to become a lineman ( of course having to give up film). I love my husband hes the funniest and sweetest. my life right now is perfect yet uncertain, but i like it that way. Im wearing shoes im still learning to walk in theyre a little to big but im stuffing and wearing them in.
right now my spirituality is vital in my existence, to feel that serenity and cultivate that platonic love.
a fish who dreams of having wings to fly. her bird who pulls her out her offspring who gives her wings........the beauty of life is immesurableCurrent Mood:  mellow |
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la vida es una hermosura dictada por los movimientos del corazon.
Es una nube adonde te encuentras rodeada de maldicion, destrucion, pero que siempre podras encontrar sanctuario en la clearidad de las estrellas.
comprender los individuales , y las complicaciones que se imponen asia sus vida es un obstaculo. La compassion, spiritualidad, Dios y la naturaleza es una gran belleza que llenaria nuestras vidas. en cambio nos imponemos el egoismo ;la necesidad de obtenener cosas materiales, paredes que bloquean el conocimiento y la realidad, resentimientos, y un gran abuso de nuestro sistema ecologico.
para traer paz a el mundo no son suficiente unas simples palabras. Antes de aser la paz entre el mundo, tendras que encontrar la paz en ti , tu espiritualidad. Tu fe en la promesa de Dios. La paz echa por los goviernos no es honesta, no es concreta. La paz que nace del corazon, que firma con su integridad es lo unico que terminara ese abismo emponido sobre la tierra por nuestros mismos seres humanos.
Sonrie, y ama
ayuda y comprende
das y recibiras mucha mas de la miniatura que distes
no pares de amar, y dejad ser amado
y busca la belleza en tu corazon porque esta alli
y toma tus decisiones basadas de las canciones que parpetean tu corazon
con mucho amor
un pajarritoCurrent Mood: hopeful |
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im so in love......woah
its beyond butterflies its more like fireflies that are lighting me up inside and heating this heart of mine, my heartbeats are like raindrops one after another, so delicately yet rapidly they fall.
I dont know what you call this feeling love just seems to underestimate it, its beyond love...
its so distinct ........i want to be with you tonight on this beach through this wind and along the sound of forceful waves..
i miss you...... i just want to hold you and kiss you
you are everything ........i love you from here to the stars ....xoxoxo
im in santa barbara ......
i rather be with you
anywhere with you
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fks
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Mar. 23rd, 2005 @ 10:03 am
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the protest last sat. was pretty awesome, ! i so had to get off that bus though I couldnt hold it in, then went to whole foods used the mens restroom didnt lock the door,i was washing my hands when a cop comes in and jumps back all scared.......so we didnt get arrested, it was a calm day, walking all over hollywood in the rain ....we didnt find sparticus, =( but we did find Tony and that other lady, those communists are crazy...haha
noha and i were chased by a pitbull down vine so we hitched a ride on the bus ......I love days like this..
im at home today and i leave soon...........yessssssssss
i want to grow wings and fly far far away from here.......Current Music: jimi hendrix |
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i walk upon fingertips and cling to hangnails
still i have not fallen
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so its friday night almost 9 im drained!
just had dinner, goodstuff, yummy and this persian drink
i hate going to school, and some classes where all I do is stare at the clock, and hope that a kid from the office will bring me a pass! only a couple months left though,
nothing is better then buying my AMP and cds ....ahhhh perfect
ive come to believe that this system is filtered with more bad then good, and the only good has awful ends. why dont people give a fuck?
they dont want them to.....in their eyes verity is invisible
tom night im babysitting! nice i need some cash! valentines is coming up....
and by the way your conception of love is whatever you make it to be, no magazine, movie, or ideal could ever limit you
thats caca, you make your romance and not a perfect time or place can ever..
if its meant to happen it will....
so what ever happened to honest, sweet and real guys?? i dont know noha..jeje but i know one sweet kid.......
.......why dont guys pick up their phones??????
im going for a walk i have nothing i really want to say tonight
Feb. 4th, 2005 @ 08:37 pm
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| » shutup and type |
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I hate being lied to , i hate asking if im being lied to, i hate being told im not being lied to when i really am.
........
so i wrote more love stories
tonight went.....
tonight just went all wrong ....we should have never spoken
meeting those guys at tanners with Noha was scary but then chill once we were settled. goodtimes talking to those socialists radicals haha we are so starting a revolution..... the tall one kept looking at me and then i was like excuse me noha i have to call the love of my life
so my camera got ran over , it didnt survive the accident
i did though, jeje that was funny though, i cant afford a ticket especially not for that
this painting is coming out awesome.......i need more time to do things thoughhhhhhh sheeshhhhhhhhh
someone told me they liked me today and it just blew me away,
im in love with the boy who lives across the street
Feb. 2nd, 2005 @ 10:45 pm
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| » illuminating caves |
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can someone please break the hourglass?
hammer down the clocks
drown away watches fast
Jan. 23rd, 2005 @ 11:01 pm
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| » its been a while......... |
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i love holding your hand, and being in your arms, kissing you and biting your lip. I love it when you rub my tummy and when you kiss my neck oh so softly....
when you whisper in my ear...my body grows into misplaced puzzle pieces and it tries to put itself together, but you assure me that you can put my puzzle back together. With your hands you touch my hair then move down my neck onto my bosom and from there they soften every single layer on me. The breeze that comes from your lips is so supple, your eyes so deep they scare me, they cross the gates into my my eyes and soul.....they see what i try to hide ever so often. we lay on velvet dreams, and time is faster then shooting stars.....and we can only breathe and hold on to each other, and the moments we live.
My feet grow cold however at times when im not with you....i dont want to be human and fear the unknown......i want to be weightless and careless and everything far away from consequence and analyzation
i am human though.....your past scares me at times....as it is filled with so many experiences ....
insecurity tries to run within my conscious ideal
all I know is that you Love me...
that is certain.
i love you, from what i think love is, it is every embrace, it is every breath we take, it is every smile and all those minutes of laughter, it is every story, it is every uncovery and every unpredictable second
wow...........time should freeze and you along with it just so i can breathe to what i see before me....
everything is a blur....
and everyday i walk with a blindfold on
who can find a cure for this confusion ......its beautiful
im going to continue to drive in this car withour brakes, on this road without signs or stop lights, continue to drive not knowing where im going........
i really dont know sometimes it seems like its over other days it has just begun
what the fuck
Love is the most terrible, and also the most generous of the passions; it is the only one that includes in its dreams the happiness of some one else.
- Alphonse Karr
Jan. 19th, 2005 @ 11:32 pm
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| » paid for by the individuals against this society |
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so the conference i went today was a piece of poop....they live in a hypocrisy mindset and they will stay that way.....it bugged me seriously everytime one of these idiots spoke.
right now im failing three classes and like getting a's in the rest of them....fk this school system........it bugs me how they grade on the ends rather then the means.......
my parents are pretty oblivious sometimes.......
i missed my buddy today....i hate not seeing noreen....shoot thats ma NUKKA!!!!!
i need to get tons of things done tonight
i miss you baby....i hope your ribs feel better tom.
i love having the most awesome conversations with montero and jessica, wow theyre pretty brilliant people
my bro is one funny kid.......our dinner conversations are pathetic sometimes i dont know maybe i should keep my liberal, bitchy activism to myself
no 72
i love sending him poems, and reading his responses, jaja its becoming a sport , i think im winning so far
I lost my belt!!!!!! i need it =( can someone find it and return it Reward is 1 dollar but my happiness priceless
dec 17 slayer.......::drools:: yeahyea
i love talking to old friends about things we are both unaware about
its stressing. life this molecule of introverted bacteria....pah pow
i hate physics, and yeah ......
vanilla soymilk puts me at ease
.........yumsssssss
im going to read right now i should get some work done
but argggggg just got this book
Oct. 11th, 2004 @ 07:54 pm
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| » ...... |
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im in love with the boy who lives across my street
Aug. 17th, 2004 @ 05:07 pm
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| » back...... |
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going back to school aggravates me when its full of stupid people, the thought that i have to be there everyday for so many hours and listen to them talk about their pitaful, dramatic lives
so many are still in that bubble , and it sucks to know that they have to be the ones to pop their bubbles ....
the things they think are so significant, are the things that in the end have no value
there are very few incredible individuals there, but they are amazing and make up for the other hundreds of kids..
ive been away from this lifestyle, and my experience was priceless
the people ive met, the things ive done, the places ive been.....its all so very overwhelming
so much ive empowered....and to have to go to a restricted facility where so and so tells you whats what....is quite depressing
this summer has gone by sooo fast.....i loved every minute of it
everything is holding itself in serenity
and in a way i want this summer to never end....
but im not fictional, and the realities of my society are accepted...
everything has changed, and me what am i doing on this mouse run......walking through it
laughing away as people take some things so seriously , when they have no importance whatsoever
and im enjoying the person i am, indulging in who i still am, will be and have become
i will miss my best friend very much...as she is settling in on her new life at ucsb, i always knew she would have to leave neverland, i just thought it would be much later, but this clock like life is so distorted and its taking my sister away.....of course i can always visit her , but it wont be the same, and you have to be a realist to understand that.
Im going to miss our inside jokes, our arguments, going to the northridge fashion center and shopping...while i would just waste my money on food and games
im going to miss her taking me out letting me dance around and bump the music in her car. IM going to miss debating with her about why she is a republican, Im going to miss watching novelas with her, im going to miss having to fix her papers because shes unorganized, im going to miss her telling me not to ruin her clothes, im going to miss "julies corner" there where she has the entire wall filled with posters of orlando, im going to miss seeing her small feet and hands, im going to miss her laughter, im going to miss her laughing at me whenever i tripped over something or broke something, im going to miss her farting around the house, im going to miss bugging her, im going to miss listening on the other phone while she talked to sexy Eric, im going to miss every conversation we ever had, im going to miss me hanging out with her friends and her, im going to miss going to parties with her even though i would just sit around, im going to miss looking for possible dates for her, im going to miss going to victorias secret and making fun of her big boobs, im going to miss speaking french with her, im going to miss myself walking around the house cussing out in 1418951571905781958 different languages and her laughing at that, im going to miss her standing up for me, im going to miss standing up for her, ......theres so much i will miss and in that way im still in a bubble.......
but im growing up, and walking outside not really knowning what to expect
there are things that are happening to people much worse then this, things that they dont even dwell upon
....things they learn to overcome and so they snap a smile on even if its not concrete
and thats just how things go in this LIFE game........
Aug. 17th, 2004 @ 04:33 pm
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| » ..... |
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US efforts continue on to strangle the flow of dollars and exchanges of acrimony even though CUba will purchase more food from the US spending more then they ever have during these last few years. It is very unfortunate to see that Cuba will have to depend on the US for those resources as they are driven more by need then politics. People will have to pay more for food now. The drought problem was and is striking with its consequences
Aug. 4th, 2004 @ 10:52 pm
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| » arggg |
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clampdown on Cuban travel is ridiculous and the excuse of child prostitution andsex tourism.........
it isnt even like that , its fucking unfair that many of us will not be able to visit our families.only because a couple of american sickos decided to invest their time with child pornography
Fidel made his speech completely vs Bush of course , and to that i cheer him on entirely
.......America has tons of prostitution, child phedophilers, pornography
and yet they can crticize and make decisions inst a counry with the same issues
Jul. 27th, 2004 @ 06:10 pm
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| » look into their eyes |
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and i take that glance and gasp in awww
i am overwhelmed of the beauty i see in them
the image of children
they are divine miracles of light and hope
perhaps they are a gift to all of us
and to realize that many are sacrifices in Sudan
to see that many are constantly dying of disease and hunger
abuse and rape
the massacre of lambs
the elimination of angels
and they bleed and bleed
while many rock on their chairs
knitting their own lifes into symmetrical lifestyles
full of the reliance upon happiness and it coinciding with how many homes you own and lavish cars you drive
and the people you do and do not know, and the image others see of you
and you may say i want to help them
do you really think a moment of frown in a slight gesture of condolense is enough?
do you really think that can bring back an angel
do you think it can save these tiny human beings,
whose only mistake was to be born in such a cruel hostile and inconsiderate world
your corruption is seen through your veil your crooked smirk
i could spit on you
disgusting as you are
but i will not treat you how you treat your people
the people who depend on oxygen food and water just like you
the people who want love and hope just like you
you spit on them and make them insignificant
when they are significant
Jun. 15th, 2004 @ 05:53 pm
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I just woke up, .......the light coming in from my window hit me right in the eye......and then i saw our neighbors cat by the window...i dunno what it is about the cat, its like he knows me so well, he knows that when the sun starts shifting a certain way, i will wake up. He knows that i wont get up for 10 minutes , Ill just lie there and look at him. He and I will just look at one another for 10 minutes, and its like we're having an ongoing conversation. Words are said through our eyes, and then he grins, and i laugh because how is that that a tiny cat can know you so well.....Finally i go outside give him some kibble and he clibms on me. I hold him tight and he puts his paw on my head. Then i put him back into the neighbors backyard. This happens everyday , if anything would ever happen to kiko i dont know what i would do......moments of my life would feel so empty. Many people dont understand this.....but whats there to understand.....perhaps i feel like ive known Kiko all my life and then i question the idea of imortality and coming back to life in a different perspective. In a different species.........
i love kiko
Jun. 13th, 2004 @ 08:13 am
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| » stole it from a thug shatteredme |
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LOVING ONE. You need safety in your relationship.
You want to be sure in his/her arms, knowing
that he will protect you and you can be totally
devoted to your other. At this point you are
very vulnerable. You open yourself and dont
even think that he/she could cheat you. You
totally trust your partner in every single way.
SO if you find out that she/he lied to you or
played a game this trust is broken. You may try
to forgive your other but this will be very
difficult.He/She has to be friendly and
trustworthy.
PLEASE VOTE, I want to know what you think about my
quiz, I worked hard on it.
You can always message me or tell me how I can
improve that quiz. Ill sure write back.
~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~
brought to you by Quizilla</
woah ....true
May. 25th, 2004 @ 09:35 pm
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| » ___closing this chapter , putting away this book |
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a great eye opener..its open ends being inflicted by the winds piercings.....
I never thought id have to speculate such ignorance,indifference, deceit, disgust and dissapointment
a sour mixture of all five
something ill have to swallow up......let it die
as it rots away on its own lie
NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY
but if it was never gold to begin with, then its falsity will wither away....
as they hide themselves behind false names, false smiles, false lanes........and intricate complexions....
i can only look away , and go on through my day
the imaturity is ridiculous, and the mind games
overwhelm me with pity
how can things get so pathetic
this chapter is full of manipulative, unworthy, dumfounded, idiotic characters
and for that i could rip out the pages
but my validity overpasses that
and ill only have to flip through the horrible phases
and ill close up this chapter
put away the book
and what of thereafter???
continue on with the other amazing books
the same ones never judged my the cover
perhaps i am neive for this trait
but it is a risk im willing to take
the glass menageries so fake
May. 18th, 2004 @ 03:10 pm
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| » (No Subject) |
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1)friday night was nice, even though it sold out 4 fukin shows........talking politics and fighting about being patriotic for a country not worthy of it lacking morale yadda yadda yadda.......then trying to do the diamond push ups and falling on top of one another.....haha then eating tons of PIZZA in 30 minutes making sure it had enough tapatio sauce.......oh man my mouth burned
2) saturday goodstuff fighting all day and laughing all day, and using the wheelchair access......my grandma kicks ASS!! she went on indiana jones and tons of other stuff shes like 96....man that lady is so DOPE!......then the chipmunks grabbin ma tushy and me bothering me......i loved every minute of saturday its such a corny place but i liked making fun of it......while i was there i saw couple of old friends it was koo.......almost falling off of splash mountain was such a sweet feeling man that was tight.......eating like crazy sugar rush after sugar rush.......my tummys still full.........then late at night just chillin white watching fantasmic.......jeje remembering about certain things........snow white musical corny but romanticish............
3) sunday 1 a.m. eating at dennnys then going over to my uncles house staying awake for another 4 hours .....finally waking up the next day......jeje Bettys bday absolutely awesome and shooting those cans ....haha almost shooting tonys leg.......eating more goodstuff, making fun of bettys and cousins for doing pilates...oh man the things they di who the fuck does pilates man looks painful......flexible freaks......haha......i dont understand their infatuation with weight and fashion......and BOYS!! well the boy part is funny.......their guy friends mannnnnnnn haha losers Pretty Boys without minds, stupid pickup lines, good looking no minds...with their tight little pants haha.....and E. LA hxc pride ....but its all good.....it was a funy day.....there one was cool kid he was actually interesting.....
4) today got back late ......woke up late.......worked on stuff.......blah blah did a lot blah blah
------------------a) since when did BANE become the GOds of hardcore no fuckin way, i mean theyre aight but cmon haha........seeeing 58972389538957 wear their hoodies is koo??.....=/......i dunno whats with that im probabaly ust a HAter oh well
b)JULY 31st got ma tks do YOU?????? .......gonna be another goodnight with ma foos......oh man remember almost dying during suckfest 2002...........shoot...........
c)im thinking this will be my last entry.....
d)www.porloschicos.com feed a kid in argentina its free
www.freedonation.com another awesome site
May. 10th, 2004 @ 09:44 pm
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